Awakening Osiris by Normandi Ellis

Author:Normandi Ellis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Phanes Press

24.

Not Dying a Second Time

My grave is ripped open. My hiding place is revealed. Light tumbles into dark. A carcass, a shell in a sheet. Gold fleck in the eye of a hawk, I spiral away from the grave. I am a child suckling the wolf's teat. The taste of raw milk is sweet. I hide myself in a heart of lapis. Oh, never-setting stars! Oh, trembling brow of Ra! My face is open as a grave. My heart is a casket of jewels. My words are clear-eyed children. I only speak what I know. This story is my bequest.

I am Ra, from whom time began, rising, a red feather in the wind, turning, turning. I am the hub of a wheel, a day star hovering over an endless sea. I am not the harvest; I am the seed. I am not the lyre; I am the song. I will not pass away. I will not pass away.

I will not enter the cavern. The lion's coat turns black in the cavern. I will change myself into a lotus dancing on water. I will not stumble in the cavern. I will follow the sun over the mountain and move on to a land of endless sun. I live for the light. I am that light, a form in the flame when one has gazed long at the fire. I am the oldest child, first-dead son, returning to his mother to suckle. Clouds of heaven tear like a shroud and I see the shine of hidden things. I see myself wrapped in fiery muslin, my face aglow with heat. I see my body crumble away like powder. I smoke like incense. I know the scent of my prayer.

I am the sun on the horizon. I am the song, not the lyre. I will not die a second time. I am coming. I will not pass away. I will not pass away.

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